Sunday, January 2, 2011
The beginning of the day was refreshing after a long bath with my strawberry bubbles and BVLGARI shampoo and conditioner. i feel much alive and energetic. i cleaned my bed, my wardrobe & my room. everything seems so perfect while waiting for boyfriend to wake up.
But the rest of the day since evening, sucks like fcuk ! everything seemed sucks. mama n papa sucks. boyfriend sucks. i suck.
Went to town to get a peace of mind, but it didn't work out. i was tempted to keep kolling him and shout at him the best i could. But like i knew, sarcasm was my best point. it didnt get any better though. i became more depressed. i didnt know what else to do.
No mood. went back home as Haziq was waiting for me at MSN. called boyfriend in the bus, informing him. he was kinda jealous. now i think i made thgs worst by telling him, but i didnt wanna hide at the same time. Went out of the bus and still talking to him. he talks about spending money on me everytime we met, cos we meet almost everyday these days. main point was i am broke now and he lended me almost $500 for my TP. and plus when we go out, money spent on food and all, on me..
He said he didnt mean to bring it up, bt he actually did. Im very taken back by what he said. really. im really working very hard to pay him back, i really did. thts one of the reason i took two jobs. i plan to work everyday, so atleast by end of the month, hopefully i cn get the $600 for him. Its like ive really troubled him too much. ive relied on him too much.
At the same time, i really think that he doesn't know how to take care of my heart anymore.
Im really depressed. i dont wanna talk to him. ive been holding back my tears too much since i went out just now. nw its time i let it out.
leave me alone.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
I dont know why, i just feel like starting to blog again since i last stopped ages ago. my feelings tells me that i can foresee a brighter and more colourful life this New year 2011. (:
hmm, Bby went out to countdown last night at RUPEE ROOM. well, i actually find myself very, and i mean VERY daring to let him go to the club without me. but like everyone says, its all about trust. Ive been with him for 3 years plus, yet he nvr cheated on me. so i also think tht there's no reason i shud nt trust him cos he deserves it. (:
Well, of cos i was worried of what MIGHT happen.. I mean, in life, and even in relatnshps, expect the unexpected. Jealous was another thing, cos he went without me, but i cant blame him. The whole blame is on me. really. maybe i shall talk about why i didnt follow him some other time okae?
But on the good side, i was happy to see him happy and enjoying himself. i made him a proud guy bcos he has an awesome girlfriend who lets him enjoy and give him space. and seeing him happy, it really made me smile. i made my Bby smile on the first day of 2011 (: a very good start indeed.
Oh yes, nt forgetting someone who troubles him family ytdy bcos she was drunk. i mean, if you wanna spoil urself and find it cool, go n die and dnt trouble others lah. and like what kak Ain said, what a way to start new year. what the hell.
As for today, the whole day was spent at work.
12 to 5 at popeyes. Work was fun with Riz, Yoyo & Theba. one of the best working days.
6 to 9 at Etude House. It was nt as bad as what i expected. but i stil think the people there are quite arrogant except for this newcomer which happen to be my schmate at TP. lol. but i dnt her lah. but maybe im in a new working environment, thts why i feel tht way. i think ill get used to it though. (: but BEST of all, both work DOUBLE PAY ! 1 hour $9. so tht means today i earned $72 altogether in just 1 day ! wee !~
Waiting for Bby to get home frm BBQ frm his aunts house. tmw no plan sia.. but maybe celebrating belated countdown since i didnt go ytdy. see hw lah. Hehe :P
XOXO,
Fadaarling.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
FINALLY get to meet my PSDarlings ! so HAPPY ! :D
thts all for today . tmw meeting them again. wee !~
XOXO,
Fadaarling.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
The whole of today has been spent at RP, im choreographing the song "cinta lebaran" for my dearest PSDarlings . Well, i had quite a hard tyme choreographing as even SNT is dancing tht song, and ive seen it before . and hafta make sure the steps are nt "copied" . But so far, i aldy choreographed almost half the song aldy, which is good . and i love the steps ! :D
We searched for dancers for last min shows, and also planned alot of things for PSD, like training dates and everything with my PSD tweenie, Yana . :D Hope you girls would love it and i miss all of you ! can't wait to meet all of you TMW ! muahh !
XOXO,
Fadaarling
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Its been quite sometime that ive perform malay dance on stage, and today ive did it with my SNT girls ! well, it started off as a bad day; my hp batt gone flat, got a scolding frm Boyf for nt checking time on the first bus/train, i missed a bus, missed train, took the wrong LRT 3 TIMES and even press the wrong floor at sheiqeen's apartment . fucking spoilt my mood . reached sheiqeen's house, get ready face base and hair, then eat .
even more bad luck, we were late for the performance, our performance didn't go as expected . met Boyf there, and he wanted to follow us to Wirda's house cos we need to change, and he got bad mood the day cos bcos of tht he was stuck under a bridge cos it was raining and he gotta stop his bike . hais :( Today TOTALLY sucks, i swear.
Met Kirin at Mac with Boyf, he looks happier, joke ard and stuff, but as expected, he's still nt happy with me . got a big scolding frm him when i got home . :'(
Also went for PSD training, and found out there's so many upcoming performances ! yay !
i miss my PSDarlings so much ! muackz ! and also planning for jln rayaaaaaaaaaaaa !~ and going home from training, i bumped into Abg Syahmi, my abg angkt, in the bus ! whoa loooooooong time nvr see him ,. more handsome nw aldy . haha ! :P
okay, im in a fight with Boyf nw . bt i admit, its my fault for troubling him so much . sometimes, u cant really compare ur hw good ur Boyf is than other's Boyf's, but shud compare the BAD ones too . hais . its my fault overall . so im sorry . shall nt trouble you to come for any performances anymore . shall not, will not.
goodnyte.
XOXO,
Fadaarling.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Family and I didn't went out to raya today . bcos mama & papa were very tired . decided to go waterfront and lepak with whole family there, tht plan also cancelled bcos the weather doesn't look tht good . so at last, as usual, we rot at home . -.-"
But as on the brighter side of life today, i got a new HANDPHONE !! a new NOKIA X6 16GB TOUCHSCREEN phone !!
It was actually supposed to be mama's fone , in which she actually wanted to give to papa . but since papa's contract was gonna finish on this coming August, and mama doesn't know hw to use the fone, so at last i got the fone at 1/4 the price from mama ! which is AWESOME ! :D So whole day played with my new fone, transferring stuffs and all bcos it doesnt haf a memory card, the fone's only has a built-in 16gb memory .
Now waiting for Boyf to reach home from his jalan raya . oh well ~
nytes people, muackz ! :D
XOXO,
Fadaarling.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Its 9.40am now, and Bby's still nt bck home yet from his friend's chalet . and his hp off . sigh . wer cud he be nw ?! he called me at 2.30am just nw saying he's going home soon, but till nw no news frm him yet . no msges, no calls . Even his family dunno wer he is nw . hais .
Cud he be lying to me ? that he's nt gonna drink ? bcos he knws he's gonna ride his bike ? or maybe bcos he drank ytdy thts why he didnt wanna ride his bike and come home ? hais . or cud he be mingling with other girls nw ? or did he get drunk and ride his bike and nw he's _______ ? OMG . i cudn't help it anymore . i cant think straight anymore . i trust him but im very doubtful nw tht he hasn't contacted me for more than 6 hours aldy .
sayang, where are you now ? i miss you :'(
Boyf's has been found ! so the case is, he's baat was low and he overslept at his friend's chalet. -.-"
But i still think thts very irresponsible of him bt its okay, i apologized aldy anw . and promised me nt to get me fucking worried sick again . and i also promised nt to worry and cry as if he's dead the next tyme . lol :P
So it's the 2nd day of Raya . today we wore PINK color . my fav color ! :D went to 4 houses again . ive been loving my makeups these raya , idk why . hahaha xD
here are some of my fav pics for the day.. :D
Will be going out again tomorrow. maybe green color tmw. nw i need to kol Boyf, i missed him so much aldy aftr he went missing for 9 hours just now.. :'(
nytesnytes sweethearts ! muackz !~
XOXO,
Fadaarling.
Friday, September 10, 2010
YAY YAY DAH RAYAAAAAAAAA ! :D
FINALLY, no more sahur and buka ! Nws just FOOD FOOD FOOD !! woohooo !~
But BAD NEWS: I MERDEKA-ed ON MY FIRST DAY OF RAYA AND THT SUCKS ! tht spoilt my mood abit but who cares, its raya ! Kuihs, ketupats & F&N drinks ! fuhh !~ tiring2 day today . when at nenek house, i slept like a pig and didn't eat . LOL :P Collection pon dah dpt bykk ! and waiting for more ! wee !~
One thg i noticed this raya, more people are wearing fake lashes . haha . okay random . but i was one of them also . but i didn't wear today okay . cos no time to siap cos i spent most my makeup time sleeping . haha . and thts bcos i had a late-nyte call with Boyf ytdy till 5am in the morning . wtf ryte ? i knw . muahahahha ! :D
As for Boyf, nw he's at Sri's birthday chalet . trying to understand him fully ryte nw . i can't always be with him . he needs his time for his friends too ryte ? the drinking part, nahh, i trust him . anw, he's gonna ride his bike so i think he's got the brains nt to drink ryte . its actually 1.47AM nw, and im still waiting for him to be home . i just cant sleep when he's nt safely homeyet . *sigh* i hope he's enjoying himself there and knw his limits too . i think he'll be home in the morning . but whatever it is, im still gonna wait . :P
So happy waiting to me and gdnyte to you !~
XOXO,
Fadaarling.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Ive never posted about this before, but im gonna open a makeover company soon . you see, ive been in love with fashion & makeup since young and has always been thinking of doing somethg with wat ive got . So i tot of opening this company . well, this company hasn't got any name yet . bcos it hasn't officially open . it's just a plan btw . and gotta knw tht cuzizn Addah also doing the same thg soon , whoa, has it become a trend or wat ?
As for nw, im just playing ard with colours and brushing up my makeup and hair and creativity skills . im still a beginner anw . so do look out for it yeah ! and do tag me if u have a company name for me . thnks !
Nw conferencing with Shab, her Boyf and me . so kecoooooooh !~ but too bad Boyf has to sleep as he's been very tired after meeting me just nw . oh yes, i forgot tht part . i break fast at his place just nw . ate spaghetti (: okay gotta get back to the conference !~
XOXO,
Fadaarling.
